Crushed Veneer
by iStoleYurCookieBitch
Summary: Naruto just wanted his life to be normal for once. After spending eight years in a mental asylum, he needed it. He had given up his only brother for a chance at redemption but, in the end, you just can't hide from yourself. Naruto AU, will deal heavily with mental illness. Kurama/Naruto and Narusasunaru
1. prologue: eight years

The freedom was suffocating. For eight years Naruto had been told when to wake-up, what to wear, when to eat, what to do, and what pills to take every day. For eight years Naruto had done little more than listen to therapists drone on and on about how fucked up he was and how the only family he ever had, the only person he ever loved-the only person who ever protected him, was nothing but a figment of his imagination; an embodiment of all his pent up fear and anger. What a slap in the face that was. Maybe it was for the best, there was still a good chunk of his adolescence that Naruto would never know, he completely understand how that pencil had ended up in his classmate's eye. For eight years Naruto had devoted his life to a life renewed. To a life without anger. To a life without late night talks alone in his bed. To a life without bodiless voices whispering in his ear. To a life without Schizophrenia. To a life without Kurama.

They say each day is the first of the rest of your life but today was a last. Today was the last time he would ever wake-up in a stiff bed with rubber sheets, the last time he would ever eat breakfast with the "friends" he'd made in the ward, the last time he would stride down those halls as a patient. But it was a first too, it was the first time in eight years that Naruto could pass through the courtyard and past the gate and not have to worry about punishment, the first day that he didn't have to move exactly when the nurses told him to and wear exactly what the nurses dressed him in. It was the first day in eight years that he could eat whatever he wanted, sleep whenever he wanted, DO whatever he wanted. It was the first day that he looked at Sai with a bit of sadness because he would likely never see him again and as Naruto lay down in Sakura's guest bed, It was the first time in eight years that he felt truly relaxed.


	2. Chapter 1: welcome home

A soft light filtered through the window blinds and danced across the bedroom, now cluttered with bags and foreign possessions. Naruto awoke to the sound of children shouting in the distance and thought it odd that he was up before the nurse arrived to give him his morning pill. He lay basking in peaceful laziness for a good five minutes before in occurred to him that the nurse would never come. Those mornings were over.

With a sudden burst of giddiness, Naruto hopped out bed and made his way out into the apartment's small living room to find Sakura curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee. The bitter-sweet scent drifted around the room. "Good morning, sleepy-head." Naruto's grin touched both ears and his face shone like a summer sun, "morning." Naruto plopped down on the other side of Sakura. "What's for breakfast?"

Sakura rolled her eyes with a sigh, "It's your first morning out of Shady Acres and the very first thing you think about is food. Naruto Uzumaki, you haven't changed at all."

"A man has to have priorities!"

…

"Mphh, Sakura, this food," Naruto swallowed the eggs he was speaking around, "is delicious!"

Sakura's eye twitched as she leered at him from across the table, "Could you PLEASE eat like a civilized human being?"

"Sorry," another huge bite was swallowed, "it's just that I haven't eaten anything but government grade crap for years."

"Well I appreciate the compliment but your kinda ruining my appetite." Sakura laughed despite herself and Naruto was quick to join her. This was nice. It'd been so long since Naruto had held a conversation that didn't involve either spilling his guts to a therapist or listening to Sai try to sell him his meds. Maybe if he'dve just taken them he could've been out of there too. "Whatcha thinking about?"

Naruto's head snapped up from his plate, "Huh? Oh, nothing. Just this guy that I knew in the institution."

"Don't call it that! You make it sound like you spent eight years trapped in a loonybin."

Naruto laughed "I DID spend eight years in a loonybin."

"It was a mental health ward not a home for crazy people."

"Yeah, well, you never met the tenets! I had this one friend, Sai, that never took his meds; he just sold them to the junkies every day. He was basically the resident dealer. Not that my other friend Kiba was complaining; Dude blew him under the table just to score some pills. Jesus, I never heard the end of that!"

"Wait, he blew him? Right there under the table for the world to see?"

"Kiba never did care too much about what everybody thought. Kiba did what Kiba pleased. Probably what ended him in the ward, I never really asked but there was a rumor that it was because he had a tendency for fucking dogs."

Sakura could contain her fit of laughter, "That can't be true! There must have been something else that landed him there."

"You never know in that place." Naruto winked. He suddenly grew grave, "There was another guy, Gaara, I don't know what he did but it must have been bad because they kept him in a padded room under constant watch. He was always with a nurse no matter what and he never talked, just sat there and glared at everybody." Naruto could see a chill go through Sakura, "It wasn't _so _bad though, we had a lot more Kiba and Sais than Gaaras."

He could physically see the tension leave her body. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't too awful for you. I really wish I could have visited more; I feel so guilty."

"Aw, Sakura, you always wrote." Naruto touched her hand and offered up a shit-eating grin, "And your letting me stay here aren't you? That's a hell of a lot more than anyone else ever did!"

She gave a small smile, not completely satisfied. "I suppose." She sighed, "I better head to work or my boss'll have my ass." She gave him a chaste hug and headed for the door. "Don't burn the place down!" She called back.

"No promises!" Naruto answered before the door closed and the apartment fell silent. He picked up the dishes and rinsed them off before placing them in the washer. He stood and took in his surroundings. This was still new to him and without Sakura around he wasn't sure what to do. He settled on TV; he had always enjoyed the rare times when he got the chance to watch it.

…

Naruto switched the television off, he had spent more time getting a feel for the controls than he had actually watching it. He just couldn't enjoy the colorful ads and fast-paced drama of day time television. He couldn't say why but he felt listless and trapped alone in his friend's box of a living space. He decided instead to take a walk, enjoy the benefits of being a free man.

It was crisp, early fall day, nearing the end of September and the changing of seasons. Naruto filled his lungs with air and cherished each refreshing breath. God, he had missed this. He hadn't realized how stuffy Shady Acres was, even the courtyard held a sort of enclosed feel to it.

The east side Konoha really was beautiful. It was the slightly more bohemian part of the city and Naruto was enamored with its brick paved streets and endless supply of small shops. The whole thing was very artsy.

Naruto whittled the day away making way through every shop that caught his attention and talking to vendors on the street. He had a particularly interesting conversation with a bouncy blonde who ran the local flower shop, mostly because she seemed so familiar. Finally the brick roads stopped and turned to dirt, the buildings became more domestic and grew further and further apart from each other as he carried on. It must been a road out of town. Naruto wandered further along, Sakura said she had a long shift today and wouldn't be back until late afternoon.

As he pushed further, Naruto could see a series of old buildings in the distance. When he approached he saw that it was an abandoned family compound. The stone wall protecting the wooden city was crumpling in different places from years of abandon and harsh weather. Weeds grew in window sills and shattered glass littered the ground. As he watched, Naruto idly wondered what had driven the clan away and left their homes to rot. He stepped over fallen stones and passed through a hole in the wall; there was something strange about this place, it drew him to it. He wanted to explore the falling buildings but as he admired his surroundings he heard a shuffling behind him. He turned to find no one there.

_'__You imagined it.' _Suddenly he was very aware of the feeling he was being watched. _'There's no one here. You're just as crazy as before.'_He must have imagined it, had to of. But He left just to be safe.


	3. Chapter 2: Old faces

Naruto returned home to find Sakura emerging from her bedroom, freshly changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. "Oh! There you are! I swear, I leave for five minutes and you run-off." She jived playfully.

"Try six hours. Your apartment is nice but it gets pretty fucking boring after a while." He scoffed back, rolling a joking eye.

Sakura mocked offence, "Well excuuuuuse me for not being around to entertain you, your highness, but **somebody **has to pay the bills. Where'd you disappear to anyway?"

Naruto walked over and crashed onto the couch. ("Careful! Don't wreck my furniture!") "I went exploring, that's all. Checked out the neighborhood, y'know."

"Did you find anything exciting?" Naruto paused as Sakura gently sat herself on the couches' armrest. His mind flashed with images of the run-down houses and littered streets of the compound.

"Uh… no. No, not really."

Sakura gave him a look that said she didn't buy it but wouldn't press for an answer. "Okaaay then, did you at least like the neighborhood?"

"Y-yeah! It was great; I liked a lot of the different stores and the flowershop-lady down the street was cool."

"You met Ino?!"

"Yeah, you know her?"

"Um, yeah, duh, she and I have been friends since kindergarten. I can't believe you don't remember her!" Thinking back, he kinda did. Sakura did used to spend a lot of time with an Ino back when they were young. He guessed he didn't recognize her now that she wasn't too good to look his way.

"Now I do, she used to be such a bitch! When did that change?"

Sakura would have yelled at him for insulting one of her best friends but… it was kinda true. At least, for him it was. Ino had treated Sakura well for the most part but she was way too proud to hang around with a misfit like Naruto. Sakura was ashamed to say she was too at first. "Around sophomore year. She just grew up I guess." Yeah, and it had taken Sakura one hell of a 'He's my friend, stop being a stuck-up bitch' rant to stunt that little growth spurt. "Anyways, I picked up take out on the way home. Lets eat!"

As he lay in bed asleep, Naruto dreamt of endless hallways. At first he walked down them, then he began a slow run and as he searched and found no exit, he broke into a full sprint. Still, he never found the end.

The next day saw little more than Sakura dragging Naruto by his arm around the city. He understood her wanting to show him what he'd missed but ripping his arm off wasn't going to catch him up any faster. Not to mention, a man can only absorb so much information at a time. Fortunately or unfortunately for him, she had the day off so he wasn't getting a break any time soon.

Despite his aching limbs, Naruto probably wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. After all, She was his best friend and he loved her no matter how physically painful it was. If it meant he could spend the day with her, Naruto would endure just about anything and after eight years of the same thing every day, the activity would have to be **pretty awful** to make Naruto complain. "Sweet Jesus women, slow down!" At least, complain _very much._

"Wha-! Bu-! Ah, okay, okay I'll take it easy. I just want to show you everything!" She scratched her cheek sheepishly.

"The city will still be here tomorrow."

"Yeah but with work and school and my internship I barely have anytime to do things like this. Whatever, we'll take it slow. What do **you** want to do?"

Naruto slid closer to her, suddenly looking very mischievous. He put an arm around her. "Well, we don't have to take it _that _slow. Maybe we could find a nice, romantic area and take it fast? He he he_-ooomph!_" Naruto doubled over and tried to re-gain the breath Sakura had knocked out of him.

"Honestly! You use any excuse to hit on me. Once again, you haven't changed all!" She huffed.

"Heeeeeey, I've been good!" Naruto whined up at her. "It's not my fault you're so beautiful."

Sakura tried to suppress a smile, lest she encourage him. "Oh, just… shut up!" and with that she strode off, leaving him to chase her.

"Saakuuuraaaaaa, can't I meet your friends some_**other**_ time? I'm tireeeeed."

"Stop whining, damnit! It works out for everyone tonight so we're doing it **_tonight_**!" Sakura pulled on Naruto's ear to punctuate her statement. Sometimes she swore he was still a child. "And you know, some of them used to be your friends too, Naruto! Just think, if you re-hit it off them you won't have to be bored when I'm gone."

Naruto wished he could argue. He really, **really** wished he could argue but she was right. _"She's always freaking right."_ He did want to see Shikamaru and Chouji again but that didn't stop the fact that another part of him said it was a bad idea. That things would be different now. "Ow! Fine, fine I'll get my shoes on."

Sakura smirked and crossed her arms knowing she had won. "Good boy!"

The restaurant was dark and lit only by dim, low hanging lights placed above each table. Red faux leather-seated booths lined each wall of the dining area and they met at the rooms corners to form larger, party-sized seating. It was at one of these that Naruto and Sakura found their modest group.

Naruto had often wondered what had happened to his childhood acquaintances over their years apart. Sure, Sakura had filled him in on the all the big events; Shikamaru getting a full academic scholarship to any college he wanted, Chouji finding his first and only girlfriend, but it was the little things that he had always wondered about. The big moments are pivotal but it's the little ones that really chip away at you, really shape you. He wondered if Shikamaru still slept through class and managed to pull straight A's, or if he had lost his touch and had to work at his genius; Wondered if Chouji was still kind and mild, or if years of back-handed compliments and locker-room snickers had made him cynical; he wondered if the pretty people were still pretty and if the losers were still losing. He wondered if anyone ever missed him, ever thought about him in the quiet moments of their everyday lives. He wondered what others would think of his return; would they be happy? Scared? Standing there, if front of the faces of his past, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Still, he'd come this far and if they were here, they must not hate him or fear him. So he took a breath and bit back every voice that was telling him to turn and run.

"Hey."


	4. Chapter 3: a voice from the past

Chapter 3  
For a brief moment, the world stood still. The group of friends and strangers alike sat in stunned silence. They had known this moment would come, that tonight was the night. But knowing never prepares you as much as you would hope. They couldn't form the words on their lips; what do you say to the man you left behind?  
"You must be Naruto!" A bushy-browed, bowl-haircut sporting young man broke the silence in a voice so chipper you'd swear it was forced if you couldn't see the look in his eyes. He offered Naruto his hand, "I'm Rock Lee." Naruto griped it.  
"It's nice to meet you." Naruto sank down into the spot beside his overly eager new acquaintance as Sakura took her place next to Ino across the table.  
"Oh. My. God." The blonde stared at him incredulously from her almost adjacent seat, "We met the other day didn't we?"  
"Uh, yeah."  
Ino gave a slow head shake, "I cannot believe I didn't recognize you; how could I forget that hair?! Or those birthmarks?" She gave him a playful wink, "It must be because you've gotten so handsome."  
"Y-yes, you're looking very well, N-naruto." Naruto couldn't tell you if he'd ever met the fragile young woman sitting on the other side of Lee but looking at the two men next to her was like looking into a memory. It was bittersweet. Shikamaru looked stiff, almost unsure and the awkward quiet from Chouji was nearly palpable. He wondered what they were thinking.  
"Thanks, you look good too." He threw another look at the figures from his past, he faked a sly smirk. "A lot better than these two sons of bitches." Their shoulders stiffened for a split second before relaxing more than they had since Naruto had arrived. Shikamaru angled one shoulder forward and leaned an arm on the table.  
"Pfft. Like your one to talk, dumb-ass."  
"Fuck off.", and then they were laughing, they were all laughing and Naruto was releasing a breath he hadn't meant to hold. The tension began to slowly ebb away. Perhaps things didn't have to be different after all.  
"What can I get for you folks?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASSHOLE!" As it turns out, a hammered Chouji acts a lot like a sober Kiba. Naruto watched through blurred vision as the ginger-giant sloshed back another shot and slurred out a 'heeey baybay' at a passing woman, or perhaps it was a man.  
"Alright, Choji, you're officially too drunk." Shikamaru sighed and waived away an approaching bartender.  
"Fuuck yoouu, maan, you'ree not drunk ENOUGH!"  
Despite their awkward beginnings Naruto had proved to fit right in with the small group of friends. Now it was his twenty-first birthday and Ino had insisted that they take the blonde out for his first night of clubbing. The music was loud, the girls wore everything tight, and the alcohol and set his gut on fire. Pretty fantastic time as far as Naruto was concerned. "Yeeaah, (hic) Shika, quite bitching, (hic) it's a paaarty!"  
Chouji slung his arm heavily over the sober friend's shoulder, "Pfffft, yeah, your just pissy 'cus you gotta drive." The redhead lowered his head to smirk in Shikamaru's face. "JEaloUS?"  
The Nara crinkled his nose and threw his best friend off of himself, "Fuck, your breath reeks." The two other men fell into each other in a fit of laughter.  
Naruto downed the rest of his whisky and stood up, wavering slightly, "Let's dance!"  
Chouji jumped to his feet, "Hell ye(hic)ah!" However as he attempted to move forward he found himself eye to eye with the club floor. He had never held alcohol well despite what his size might suggest. With that Shikamaru gave a singular, punctuating clap of his hands, "Alright, you're done. We're going home." He and Naruto helped their friend to his feet and Chouji begrudgingly leaned his weight against Shikamaru.  
"You SUUUUUCK."  
"See ya, Naruto. Try not to party too hard."  
"Pfft, screw that, I'll burn this place down."  
Naruto felt a bit abandoned as he watched his friends walk away, "Whaateever. I don need those guys. Dragin' me down anyways." He looked around the room and admired the increasingly attractive club-goers. His eyes landed on a particularly busty brunet whom just happened to be eying him from her spot in the crowd. A mischievous expression graced his face, "I can have plenty of fun without them."

"Thanks for the drink, cutie." The pretty brunette winked at him as she sipped her martini. It wasn't her first one judging by her unusually red cheeks and overly bubbly attitude, not that Naruto had noticed; He was too far gone himself to care about her buzz. He threw her a wink back.  
"No problm, beautful. I'm just spreadin' the party, is ma birthday y'know."  
"Oh? And what's the birthday boy's name?"  
Naruto took a drink from yet another glass of Jack Daniels and gave her one of his famous smiles, though it was a little lopsided. "Ma name's (hic) Naruto."  
"Well, Naruto," She leaned into his ear and whispered, "I've got a present and if you're lucky, I just might let you unwrap it." She trailed her hand down his chest and an instant heat shot to Naruto's groin._ "Fuck, this chick is hot." *there's nothing sexy about a common bar skank.*_  
"Huh?" Naruto whipped his head towards the muttered growl, seeing nothing but hazy figures too far off to have been talking in his ear. "D'you hear that?"  
"Hear what, baby?"  
_ "That sounded like…"_ Naruto shook his head to clear his mind, "N-nothin'. Les dance."  
The brunette bounced up and pulled Naruto to the dance floor by his arm, "Sounds fun!" she turned her face back toward him, "The Name's Crystal by the way."

There is little more sensual than simply being impossibly near someone. To press just close enough to each other to feel a soft teasing of skin against skin and bask in your partner's essence is to excite the deepest of human lust. They swayed with each other, fully invested in nothing but a desire to explore and tease. Naruto held her hips as she gently pressed against him; he could smell the subtle aroma of her skin as he slowly mouthed at her jawline.  
"Mmm, aah!" She gave a small gasp as she leaned her head back and allowed him to kiss and nip at her throat. "Naruto." Her moan was inaudible over the pounding bass but the hunger of her movements was unmistakable. She nipped the top of his ear, "I have a motel room just around the corner."

_ *This is Stupid...*_

_ *...dangerous...*_

Naruto could hear a faint whisper, like a rolling breeze, in the back of his mind. He ignored it; he could take care of himself. He was too drunk to care anyways. Still, as he followed his enchanting new friend through the cool October night he couldn't help but feel a small amount of unease.  
The couple didn't exchange words as they made their way to the cheap motel room. The air was permanently thick with the stench of cigarettes and the sheets smelled perpetually of sweat and shame. Naruto lowered himself onto the bed; he could feel his heart race as crystal placed herself in his lap. She faced so that she was straddling his hips and she ran her fingers through his shaggy hair. Their faces gravitated closer and closer until their lips were just centimeters apart.  
Naruto found her eyes with his; the momentum of the moment allowed a clearing of his mental fog, "I've never done something like this before..."  
"That's alright, I'll show you how." With that, Crystal found his hands and as she brought them to her chest, she sealed their lips together. They stayed like that for a time, a mass of wandering hands and rolling tongues. Naruto tore off her shirt and kissed hunger at her collar bone as he struggled with her bra, suddenly feeling a carnal sense of urgency. Crystal jumped up and began dealing with it herself, "Here, I'll do it; you undress yourself."  
"Uh-uh, y-yeah okay!" Naruto removed his clothes as swiftly as his shaking hands would allow him but before he could get rid of his boxers, Crystal was practically throwing him on the bed. She snaked between his legs and began palming his growing erection through his boxers; Naruto mewled his appreciation. There was something so familiar about it all. Flashes of late-night scenes filled his mind. images of hands roaming his body, hands that were both his and somehow someone else's. In the depths of his mind he could hear a deep voice whisper sweet-nothings in the night, it'd been so long since he'd heard that voice.  
Naruto brought Crystal to his chest and flipped them so he was crouching over her. _"I hope I never hear it again."_ Even then he knew it wasn't true.

The next morning Naruto woke-up alone and wallet-less.  
_ *I told you not to mess with common whores; maybe next time you'll listen.*_ The voice was no longer just a whisper in his head; It was as real as if Kurama were standing right beside him. 


End file.
